The bittersweet start of term

There is a particular feeling that arrives at the end of August, somewhere between the last day of the summer holidays and the first day of term. It is relief and loss in the same breath. The house will be quiet again. The routine will return. And somewhere in the space between the two, most parents find themselves standing in a hallway surrounded by name labels, wondering how six weeks disappeared so quickly.

Whichever stage of education your family is heading back into this September, from a first day at primary school to a first term away at university, the run-up is rarely calm. So we have put together a proper list for each stage, plus a few thoughts on staying organised through it, and a suggestion for looking after yourself once the last bag is packed.

Starting primary school

The essentials for a first year at primary school:

• School uniform, with spares of anything prone to disappearing (jumpers, socks, PE kit)
• Named items - everything, without exception
• Book bag or small backpack
• Water bottle, named
• Packed lunch box and named containers, if not having school dinners
• Wellies and a spare pair of shoes for the classroom
• Waterproof coat
• Plimsolls or trainers for PE
• PE kit, named
• Hairbands, clips or a spare hairband kept in the school bag
• Tissues, for the inevitable
• A comfort item for the first few days, if the school allows it
• Reading folder or book bag insert
• Spare underwear and socks, kept discreetly in the bag
• A photograph or small note tucked into the lunchbox, for reassurance
• Emergency contact details updated with the school office
• A calm morning routine practised the week before term starts

Starting secondary school

The move to secondary school brings a longer list and a good deal more independence to manage:

• Full uniform, including blazer, tie and any house colours
• PE kit for all relevant sports, plus named spares
• Sports shoes, trainers and any specific footwear required
• A proper school bag, built for a full timetable of books
• Pencil case, fully stocked; pens, pencils, ruler, calculator, highlighters
• A set of exercise books or files, if not provided by the school
• Locker padlock, if required
• Planner or diary for homework and timetables
• Water bottle
• Lunch box or dinner money set up on the school system
• Reading book or a book for free periods
• A watch, for a phone-free way to check the time in class
• Umbrella or waterproof coat for the walk or bus
• Travel card or bus pass sorted in advance
• A spare set of house keys, if walking home independently
• Basic toiletries kept in the bag for after PE
• A conversation about phone use, screen time and who to contact if plans change

Starting university

The first weeks away from home ask for a different kind of preparation, less about kit and more about setting up a life:

• Bedding, towels and a laundry bag
• Kitchen basics, if catering for themselves; a decent set of pans, cutlery, mugs
• A small first aid kit and basic medicines
• Stationery and a laptop bag or case
• Storage; boxes or under-bed containers for a small room
• A doorstop, extension lead and a few multi-plug adaptors
• Photographs and small personal items from home, framed and ready to put up on arrival. A good frame does more to make a new room feel settled than almost anything else, and we would suggest packing one before they leave rather than sourcing one once they get there.
• A folder for important documents; insurance, ID, bank details, term dates
• A budget plan or simple way of tracking spending
• Contact details for a GP or student health service near the new address
• A few home comforts that will not fit in a suitcase easily but matter more than expected, like a favourite mug or something that smells like home
• A plan for staying in touch, and an honest conversation about how often that will realistically happen

Staying organised while it all happens around you

Somewhere between the uniform fittings and the last-minute stationery run, most parents lose track of what has actually been done and what has not. A diary that lives on the kitchen table, rather than buried in a phone, tends to do more good than any app during this stretch of the year. Ours are designed to hold a household's worth of dates, appointments and deadlines in one place, without needing to be switched on to find them.

Alongside it, there is a case for going back to basics with a physical to-do list. Writing it down slows the panic slightly, and ticking things off by hand, rather than swiping them into an archive, gives a small, real sense of progress on days that otherwise feel entirely chaotic. It sounds like a small thing. It is not.

And once the last bag is packed

However this September lands for your family, whether it is the first day of Reception or the drive home after dropping someone at halls, it is worth pausing to acknowledge that another summer of school holidays has been got through. That is no small thing either.

Once the uniforms are on and the house has gone quiet, take a moment for yourself. Our candle sets were made for exactly this kind of pause, a proper reason to sit down for ten minutes with something that is entirely, unapologetically for you. You have earned it.